


Crossing the Line

by Yyydelilah



Category: Football RPF, Men's Football RPF, Men’s Soccer RPF, Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Based on a Tumblr Post, British spelling, Crack, Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, German National Team, Gossip, Idiots in Love, Interviews, M/M, Retirement, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, Swearing, UEFA U21 European Championship 2009, stolen plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-10-12 20:10:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17474201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yyydelilah/pseuds/Yyydelilah
Summary: Mats and Benni have been fighting like cat and dog since Mats first got called up for the U21s.Now the Euros are looming and everyone is sick of their nonsense - including the coach.Or Mats' retirement brings back distant memories...





	1. Prologue - Take me back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometime in the not-too-distant future...

The mood in the stadium was one of casual celebration. The league title had been wrapped up a few weeks earlier, and the exit from cup competition had been forgotten. There was nothing at stake, meaning the fans could relax, enjoy the final home game, and concentrate on giving a proper farewell to their veteran defender.

Taking a place high up in the stand and with all attention focused upon the ceremonies taking place on the pitch, Benni was relieved to anonymously merge into the crowd of chattering, preoccupied supporters.

A fanfare heralded the arrival of various club dignitaries, returning favourites, and finally, the players themselves.

…

Mats had always found these farewell ceremonies a bit awkward, but now it was finally his turn, it was more like a surreal blur of colour and noise and endless handshakes. He had been asked so many times to imagine how he would feel at this moment, knowing it was his last game, but now he was actually experiencing it, he wasn’t sure how he felt at all.

Having made it through his minutely-scripted and impeccably-rehearsed speech of thanks without faltering, he raised his eyes to the big screen where highlights of his career were being replayed in reverse order.

The satisfaction of league and cup titles in red - the overwhelming emotions of Rio, the memory of that golden trophy and a nation’s joy heavy in his hands - a flash of yellow and black, suddenly so very far away, almost a different lifetime - and then a celebration in red and black, faces familiar yet all so very young…

There was Sami, fresh faced and long haired; Mesut, bursting with promise; Manuel with the world within his grasp; Jerome, as imposing then as now. His own lanky, juvenile frame was almost the hardest to recognise, and in the last flickering seconds of video, a glimpse of Benni, golden haired and smiling beside him.

Then the image disappeared to be replaced by live feed from the camera zoomed onto Mats’ reaction - a broader, more self-possessed figure, a face with more lines and a contemplative gaze rather than a carefree smile.

He had prepared himself for most of the worst assaults of nostalgia upon his carefully steeled exterior, but something about those final pictures and the contrast with the man he had become revealed a chink in Mats’ emotional armour.

His eyes swept across the surging crowds as though searching for someone, as a swarm of long-withheld memories drew him tumbling back...


	2. A Collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June 2009 - the German U21 squad gathers

One of the things no one seemed to mention when talking up the ‘honour’ and ‘responsibility’ of being called up for the national squad, was the enormous amount of waiting around that was involved. Hanging around in airports, in meeting rooms, or, as they were currently doing, hanging around in the lobby of their team hotel waiting for all the members of the squad to assemble from their disparate clubs.

For the next two weeks, the Barsinghausen hotel, spa and sports complex would be home to Germany’s brightest and best young footballers as the U21s completed their final preparations for the European Championship in Sweden. Not that they were really living up to the billing ‘brightest and best’ just at the moment…

“Ugh! Why can’t we just go to our rooms already?” Manuel sighed dramatically and threw himself across one the lobby sofas, completely disregarding the fact it was already occupied.

“Ouf! Was that necessary?” Benni pushed Manuel’s feet off his lap and glared at him, gaining only a shrug and a ‘butter-wouldn’t-melt’ smile in exchange.

“Hrubesch is waiting until everyone’s here before assigning rooms” Jerome yawned, “Doesn’t want us splitting up before he’s had “a word” apparently” 

Mesut had his legs hooked over the back of an armchair and appeared to be trying to read the hotel brochure whilst hanging upside down:

“Ooh they have bowling lanes here! We could organise a tournament!”

“I doubt we’ll have time” said Benni, flatly, “Aren’t you getting dizzy like that?”

“A bit” 

The midfielder spun himself back to an upright position and looked sheepish.

“Cheer up, Mes” Jerome threw the aeroplane he had made from the hotel’s complimentary note paper at him, “Sami should be here any minute.”

Clearly the blood had not yet left Mesut’s head as his cheeks were rather flushed.

Benni shook his head:

“At least Sami has an excuse for keeping us waiting. Getting held up is understandable when you’re coming from Stuttgart. The Dortmund lot on the other hand should have had the decency to have been on time…”

“Can you really call them ‘The Dortmund lot’ when there’s only two of them?” mused Jerome to no one in particular.

Manuel hummed, aiming a sideways look at his Schalke teammate:

“Any reason in particular that you had noted their absence, Benni?”

“Not particularly” said Benni, with an attempt to look indifferent that made him look anything-but. “I couldn’t care less when they show up, but I object to having my time wasted because Hummels probably can’t tear himself away from his mirror!”

This prompted a snort of laughter from Manuel and a wry chuckle from Jerome, but Mesut looked rather serious:

“I’m sure he would have left enough time for that. And he’s not the only one who spends time on his hair. I mean, Sami has long hair…”

“It’s not the hair, Mes!” Benni cut him off mid-sentence, “It’s the principal. Maybe they allow that sort of poor time-keeping in the lesser parts of the Ruhrpott, but if they want to represent their country…”

“They’re probably stuck in traffic!” Mesut was still keen to be fair to his absent teammates, “You know what it’s like.”

Manuel threw up his hands:

“Give it up, Mes. Benni’s not going to allow any defence of them. No little thing like ‘reason’ is going to get in the way of his little vendetta.”

“I do not have a vendetta!”

Manuel patted his arm with a patronising little nod:

“Sure, sure you don’t, babe”

“I don’t!” Benni swiped his hand away and pouted as he sank back in his seat.

“Yeah, just like you haven’t been whining on about him ever since he got called up.” Manuel continued.

“I have not!” Benni hissed, his ears turning slightly pink. “And it’s not my fault he’s completely insufferable.”

“He’s not the only one…” grumbled Jerome.

Manuel said nothing more but eyed a squirming Benni with a faint knowing smile. 

Benni avoided his gaze whilst cursing the colour the mention of Mats Hummels had brought to his face. He didn’t have a vendetta, whatever Manuel said, and he hadn’t realised he’d mentioned Mats so often. The man just annoyed him for some reason. He didn’t often take against people. But for some reason… Well, given that Hummels appeared to be supremely confident to the point of arrogance, he was unlikely to be too concerned about Benni’s opinion of him or anything else for that matter.

…

“Relax! We’re nearly there and we’re not that late really” 

Marcel’s efforts to placate his teammate failed to dislodge the frown from Mats’ face. He had been fidgeting since they had set off, made all the worse by having to sit in stationary traffic for three quarters of an hour.

“So much for trying to make a good impression!” he huffed.

“Hrubesch will understand.” Marcel was still trying to be the voice of reason. “It’s not our fault, and we let them know we were held up.”

“It’s alright for you…”

“What? ‘Cause I won’t be starting? Gee, thanks”

Mats held up his hands:

“Hey, I didn’t mean that!”

“Nah, S’fine” Marcel shrugged. “Honestly, I’m just happy to be here. Playing would be nice, obviously…”

“Obviously…”

“But I’m sure that’ll be decided for footballing reasons and not who managed to avoid traffic jams!”

Mats thought about this for a moment, before scowling again:

“I’m sick of the bench though.” He turned his head to look out of the window as the hotel finally came into view “I don’t want any external distractions. I just need to focus on my game.”

Unloading their bags from the car as quickly as possible, the two Dortmund representatives made their way into the hotel lobby. There they were greeted by the sight of the U21 captain with his arms wrapped tightly around the star midfielder.

“Oi, put him down Sami” came a voice from further inside, “Anyone would think you hadn’t seen each other in years, not a couple of weeks!”

Sami released a pink-cheeked Mesut from his hug and grinned broadly.

“Aw cute” said Marcel, smiling.

Mats did not smile. He watched as the two men strolled towards the rest of the waiting team, still arm in arm, sneaking glances at each other and seemingly immune to the ribbing of the other players. He didn’t know exactly how close Sami and Mesut were but any sort of ‘involvement’ with a teammate had to be a bad idea. 

“Hey! Great! You made it!” Sami had managed to distract his attention from Mesut long enough to realise the last two members of the squad had arrived. 

“Finally!” Jerome dragged himself to his feet to greet the stragglers. “What happened to you guys? We thought you might have changed your minds, ha ha”

“Not likely!” growled Mats, wondering if the more established defender was making a dig at him. “There was an accident.”

“Oh no, are you both OK?” said Mesut, concerned.

“We’re fine” Marcel was quick to reassure him, “We weren’t in the accident”

“No but we got stuck in the fallout from it. All lanes shut. Just had to sit there while the emergency services turned up...”

“But we got here and that’s the main thing” Marcel cut across Mats and tried to shepherd him towards check-in.

“It took them ages to get everyone moving again and then, of course, there were a load of idiots driving really slowly to get a good look at what had happen. The most annoying bit is that I knew we should have left extra time to get her because…”

“Jeez! It’s quite amazing how you continue to talk when quite clearly no one is still listening to you!”

Mats spun round to face the source of this interruption to be met with Benedikt’s sour expression.

“What was that? Oh yeah, I must have misheard you because obviously what you meant to say was ‘Hi Mats’, ‘How are you, Mats?’ ‘Sorry to hear you had a nightmare journey, Mats’ “

“Oh look! He likes the sound of his own name almost as much as he likes the sound of his own voice!”

“And what’s got your panties in a twist, Benedikt?”

“Trust me, you have absolutely no effect whatsoever on my…”  
He swiftly changed the subject:  
“The issue is that the rest of us have been sitting around waiting, and while that might be acceptable in the lesser parts of the Ruhr, when you’re with the National squad you should at least be punctual.”

“Well perhaps you should get used to sitting around as I’ll be doing my damnedest to make sure you’ll be sitting on the bench” 

Mats cringed a little internally as that made him sound far less like a complete asshole in his head, but he made sure his face didn’t change.

“I’m shaking with fear” Benni’s smile was deeply sarcastic.

“Oh, you reckon that because you’re the “play-off hero”, we should all be grateful to you that we’re here, is that it? Mr Untouchable and we’ll all be cleaning your boots for you, or some shit”

“What the…? Fuck off Hummels! Go fix your hair or something…”

Mats had clearly hit a nerve but he didn’t feel as triumphant as he had expected.

Jerome stepped between them before things could escalate:

“Er Guys? Guys? Might I remind you that we’re all on the same team here?” 

Mats smiled sweetly at him:

“I’m not the one with a problem here. I just wanna get to my room.” 

“That’s all any of us wants” Benni snapped “and now we’re finally all here…”

“Horst wants us all in the conference room”, Sami was relieved to be able to separate the bickering defenders, herding his team out of their shambles in the lobby and into some sort of order. 

Benni and Mats pointedly took pains to sit on opposite sides of the room while everyone else filled in around them.

Hrubesch opened with a few words of welcome and then began setting out his hopes for the coming few weeks. He emphasised the importance of playing for each other and the need for cohesion as a team. Mats might have been being paranoid but he felt sure that the coach’s gaze was directed in his direction on several occasions during his delivery of that particular section of the speech.

Lastly, he came to general housekeeping matters:

“Now I’m sure many of you are wondering why you were not automatically assigned your rooms on arrival. I’m sorry to have kept you hanging around but I wanted to explain the situation to all of you in one go. The fact is that the hotel’s restoration plans have unfortunately run behind schedule and, as a consequence of this, there are not enough rooms for you all to have one each.”

The murmur of dismay this prompted was quickly silenced by a stern glare from the coach before he continued:  
“I have therefore spent a good deal of time working out your room assignments and I trust there will be no complaints,” he added, with a look that dared anyone to disagree. 

The idea of having to share was not desperately appealing to Mats, but rooming with Marcel, or maybe catching up with Sandro wouldn’t be too terrible.

Sami and Mesut were the first pair of names to be read out, resulting in some sniggering and the couple in question looking rather bashful. Mats resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. Surely putting those two together would be an unwise distraction?

“Neuer and Boateng in 207” 

As Manuel got up to collect the key, Mats noted with glee that Benni was frowning again. He had evidently been expecting to share with his Schalke buddy. Ha! 

“Wagner and Schmelzer have 210”

Marcel smiled nervously at Mats. The latter's complacent indifference was quickly turning to dread as the number of players remaining dwindled.

Sure enough, with a grim inevitability…

“And Höwedes is with Hummels in 309.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whilst based on real events, none of this happened - obviously.  
> Benni was a far more established member of the team at this point having gone through the U18s and U19s. Mats had fewer appearances and wasn't a regular starter.  
> [This was first game Mats and Benni played together (I think)](https://www.worldfootball.net/report/_109/) \- Euro qualifier against Luxembourg 20 November 2007 (Benni was subbed off at half time)
> 
> [The play-off against France where Benni scored the winner](https://www.worldfootball.net/report/_319/) \- 15 October 2008 
> 
>  
> 
> [Video report of that match including Manu being awesome and Benni scoring past foetus Lloris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQdT3S0VOqs)


	3. With friends like these...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know it's a cliche but I love a cliche

There was a pause. Neither player moved immediately.

Then the coach gave a deliberate cough prompting Benni into action. He glanced over at Mats who was staring straight ahead, stoney-faced.

“For God’s sake” Benni muttered under his breath as he stood up, “You’ve kept us waiting long enough already.”

He took the proffered cardkey before Mats had a chance to react, snatched up his bags and headed for the lift without looking back. The elevator doors were just closing as Mats thrust his arm out to stop them, and Benni did not both to stifle his sigh. 

As they stood in awkward silence, he half wished he’d taken the stairs instead, but he had wanted to get first choice of bed at least. Benni suspected Mats was thinking the same thing. Both men were attempting not to look at the other, but this was made difficult by the hotel’s decision to place large mirrors inside its elevators. 

After several long seconds of studying the lift’s carpet, they arrived at the third floor. There followed a frankly undignified scramble to reach the room first, which Mats won due to a shoulder barge that would definitely have deserved a yellow card on the pitch. 

He stumbled through the door, Benni two steps behind.

“Wha...What the FUCK!”

It took a second for Benni’s eyes to adjust from the gloom of the corridor to the brightness inside the hotel room. It was a smart, modern, spacious suite - comfortably and tastefully furnished and entirely pleasant except for one minor detail…

...there was only one bed. 

Mats looked as though his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

“What the fuck?” he said again. “There’s been a mistake, right?”

Benni ignored him, pushing past to get to the offending piece of furniture. He prodded it as though willing it to separate into two, despite it being a very obviously solid King-size. He even looked underneath it, but there were no answers there.

“This isn’t normal, right? They don’t expect us to…” Mats was still babbling uselessly, “I mean I know I haven’t been with the squad long but they don’t usually…”

Again Benni didn’t answer. Dropping his bag, he turned and scampered back towards the lobby, taking the stairs this time. He could hear Mats following a little way behind but paid no attention to him. He needed to speak to Hrubesch.

...

“It’s just the way it is I’m afraid.” The coach seems completely unconcerned by Benni’s protestations. “They’re refurbishing some of the rooms so we said we’d make do with whatever they had. It's a lovely room, one of the premier suites, I believe. You should be very comfortable.”

“But coach…” Benni tried to argue with him but was quickly silenced.

“This isn’t a negotiation. We’re not swapping you around. Not when we spent so long working out where to put everyone. I said I didn’t want any complaints and I meant it. It might do you good - give you two a chance to bond.”

He glanced very deliberately behind Benni to where Mats was hovering on the edge of the conversation.

Benni gave a grimace.

“Now I think we’re quite finished here,” Horst began to walk away, “and if you’re not careful you’ll be late for dinner.”

“Yeah, stop whinging, Höwedes.” Mats sent a sickly smile in Benni’s direction, “That’s the only room there is - get over it! Stop acting like an entitled brat!”

“I’m whinging and entitled?” Benni exclaimed, “May I remind you that you were the one…”

But Mats had disappeared into the dining room before Benni could finish his indignant sentence.

...

Manuel’s reaction to Benni’s misfortune was to break into howls of laughter.

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying it!” Benni growled, “and mind you don’t choke on that potato or there’ll be a last minute vacancy for a ‘keeper in the squad.”

Manuel spluttered but just about managed pull himself together.

“No fear! You’re not getting rid of me that easily, not when things are already getting interesting!”

“Interesting? This isn’t ‘interesting’ - this is a nightmare!” The indignation had made Benni’s voice squeakier than he’d have liked.

“And I thought I was the dramatic one!” Manuel was still grinning mercilessly. 

“At least you get a decent-sized room” Having finished eating, Jerome had decided to join in the conversation, “The one Manuel and I have to share is tiny. It would be small for two kids, never mind two of the tallest guys in the squad!”

“Oh, do you want to swap? If you want more space, I’d be only too hap…”

“Sorry Benni” Jerome was clearly not at all sorry, “There’s no way Hrubesch will let us swap. No can do.”

“Yeah, and least you guys have a bed each.” Benni’s face appeared to have set into a perma-sulk at this point.

“True, no honeymoon suite luxury for us” sighed Manuel, still looking thrilled at his friend’s misery. “You never know, you might see a whole new side to your favourite Nemesis.”

Benni glared at him.

“At least if you’re at each other’s throats behind closed doors, the rest of us won’t have to listen to it” Jerome rolled his eyes, “But I might open a book on whether or not you both get through the next few days alive. Some black eyes at least, I’d have thought…”

“Maybe you could sleep in the bath, Benni?”

Ignoring Manuel’s ‘helpful’ suggestions, Benni’s gaze wandered over to the far side of the dining room, where his new roommate was huddled in conference with Marcel and Sandro. Mats looked equally sulky, something that Benni noted with grim satisfaction. He really was the most insufferable man...

Having been spaced out in thought for just a second too long, Benni scowled as Mats glanced up and caught him staring.  
...

Nightfall seemed to arrive far more quickly than was polite and, despite every effort to avoid his fate, Mats found himself in the icy silence of the bedroom he would be sharing for the duration of the pre-tournament training camp.

Each man stuck resolutely to ‘their’ side of the room as though a line had been drawn down the centre. The childishness of this was not lost on Mats but he could not bring himself to be the one to back down. Benedikt was the more senior member of the squad. He should be setting a good example. Everyone else had made Mats welcome when he had first been called up, but it seemed as though Benni had taken an instant dislike to him and had made no effort to conceal this fact. Perhaps he saw him as a threat. Mats hoped so, but as Benni had much more experience at this level it seemed ridiculous. Maybe he was always this much of prick.

It was when he had to cross the room to reach the bathroom and Benni visibly bristled at the intrusion, that Mats lost all patience:

“Do you want me to fetch some tape to put down the middle of room or did you bring some with you? I mean, do you give this ludicrous silent treatment to all your roommates or am I special?”

Benni gave a hollow laugh:

“You don’t want me to tell you what you are, trust me!”

It took a good deal of self restraint for Mats not to punch that conceited freckled face. He had the height advantage and would probably back himself in a fight. Fortunately, the voice of reason in his head reminded him that getting kicked off the team would not be a particularly wise career move. 

Instead he glowered at Benni for a moment, before sweeping past him and into the bathroom where he took care to take as much time as he possibly could and to use all the complimentary toiletries. He emerged fragrant and smug.

Deliberately ignoring a livid Benni, he returned to ‘his’ side of the room and slid into ‘his’ side of the bed. 

In a bid to score a few extra points, he vaguely considered stealing all the bed sheets and pillows whilst Benni was in the bathroom, but felt it was rather pointless making himself too warm. He was already stifled by the fact he wouldn’t be able to sleep naked as he normally did. Instead, he decided to build a pillow and blanket wall to separate the two sides of the mattress. He then extinguished all the lights and lay as close to the edge of the bed as was comfortable and tried to sleep.

The loud, exasperated sigh that accompanied Benni’s discovery of his handiwork was music to his ears. 

…

“They did what?!” Sami nearly choked on his breakfast.

“Well, not literally,” Manuel explained, “There wasn’t a physical line across the room but it sounds as though there might well have been.”

Having had another meal ruined by Benni’s complaints about his roommate, Manuel had sought the opinion of the captain.

“They never speak unless it's to say something snarky and sarcastic.” Jerome rolled his eyes, “Training’s going to be a nightmare.”

Manuel continued:

“They’ve been like this from the start, but it’s getting worse.”

“Ugh, they’re impossible.” Sami sighed, “Everything is such a drama with those two!”

Mesut looked confused:

“But why on earth did the coach room them together if they’ve never got on?”

“Because he’s sick of them as well!” Manuel exclaimed.”There’s no way it was an accident. I’m certain it was deliberate.”

Sami frowned:

“He thinks that if he forces them to share, that they’ll suddenly become best mates, is that it? Seems risky...” 

Manuel shook his head with a knowing smile:

“They’ll never be friends. Not when the sexual tension is that strong!”

“What?!”

“Oh Mes…” Manuel looked pityingly at his startled teammate, “Think about it.”

“Are you sure?” Sami seemed skeptical but Manuel had no such doubts.

“Very!” 

Jerome mutter something almost inaudible but Manuel caught the word ‘gaydar’ and raised an eyebrow.  
“Do you have a problem, Boateng?”

“I don’t, but it’s clear they do! If they need to fuck to give the rest of us a quiet life, then I’m all for it!”

“But...but they don’t like each other?” Mesut had gone rather pink again and look utterly baffled by what was going on.

“Exactly!” cried Manuel, “Or they think they don’t. It’s up to us to help them.”

“Oh god,” Jerome groaned, “Don’t tell me you have a plan!”

Manuel smiled serenely at him:

“I may have an idea,” he said, “but we’ll need to enlist Marcel and Sandro to help. Sami? Will you abuse your captain’s power? It's in a good cause. It will benefit the team, I’m sure of it.”

Sami shrugged:  
“As long as it’s not illegal. Surely it can’t make things worse…”


	4. Rumour has it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan - part 1

Benni was tired. Exhausted actually. And training hadn’t even begun properly yet.

It didn’t help that he hadn’t slept properly. Mats’ ‘wall’ had given him barely enough room to lie comfortably so he had waited until he was sure that the other man was asleep before stealthily dismantling it. Even after that, he was too wound up to sleep well. 

Waking just as the sun was creeping over the horizon, he had given up on getting any meaningful rest, had showered, dressed and gone to find some distraction for his restless brain, leaving Mats snoring behind him.

His primary aim for the day was to avoid Mats as much as possible. This he had managed fairly successfully, but his sour mood was not helped by the fact Manuel had gone missing shortly after breakfast, and he had spent the morning hanging out with Mesut instead - which was fine but not ideal.

Mesut was not as chatty as Manu and, although he was happy enough to listen to Benni’s eloquent and detailed analysis of Mats’ myriad faults, he had an annoying habit of defending him, claiming he deserved a second chance. As Mes had a tendency to see the good in everyone, even rabid egomaniacs, Benni chose to ignore him - and if little voice from somewhere deep within whispered that perhaps he had a point, well Benni could ignore that too.

As he changed for the afternoon training session, Benni felt like a tightly wound spring. He tried to keep his mind on the task at hand, but concentration was far more difficult than usual and he found it impossible to focus.

A badly timed tackle that sent Marko sprawling to the ground clutching his shin drew the wrath of the coach and a gloating smirk from Mats that did nothing to improve Benni’s mood.

“For fuck’s sake Höwedes!” Sami was wearing his no-nonsense captain face. “When you’re quite finished trying to break Marin’s legs, you can collect up all the balls and bibs at the end. Get your act together!”

Seething rage and frustration was enough to sharpen Benni’s wits for what remained of training, and he took consolation from the fact that being the last in to change meant at least he would be able to miss Mats’ smug satisfaction at his rival’s reprimand.

Sure enough, when he emerged from the showers he found the locker room deserted, but Manuel’s voice from outside the door revealed that he had only just missed his friend.

Benni was about to try to catch up and ask him to wait, when the sound of his own name caused him to pause and listen:

“But does Benni know?” Sami’s voice echoed in the corridor.

“Erm, I doubt it” 

Benni, clutching his towel a little tighter, peered round the door to see Marcel in close conversation with the team’s captain and first choice goalkeeper.

“Definitely not” Manuel seemed adamant, “We shouldn’t tell him either.”

Sami gave a rather dramatic sigh:

“And you’re sure Mats is crushing on him?”

Benni gasped and then ducked back behind the door in case they had heard him. If his mind had been muddled before it was racing at light speed now. He strained his ears to hear more:

“Oh yes, definitely” Marcel continued, warming to his subject. “He’s been crazy about him ever since he got called up. He talks about him all the time, going on about how talented he is - blah,blah. And about a Schalker too! Oh..no offence!”

“None taken” Manuel answered.

“But you’re sure it’s not just professional?” Sami asked again.

“Jeez no. I like and respect the guy but I’m not sighing over him all the time! I’m worried it’s affecting his game.”

“But why doesn’t he just tell him?”

“He’s too proud to admit it! And you’ve seen how they are. He’d rather push him away than get his heart broken.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t intervene and tell him ourselves?” 

“Absolutely sure!” Manuel’s voice carried straight to Benni’s troubled conscience. “You’ve seen how much Benni delights in provoking him. I don’t know why he took against the guy but it’s hopeless. I mean, he’s my mate and everything, but he can be ruthless when he wants to be. You should tell Mats to try to get over it, poor guy. He’s a catch, even if Benni is too much of an idiot to see that.”

“But if…”

Manuel cut off Sami’s next question:

“We should get going. He’ll be finished in the shower in a minute and we don’t want him interrupting us!”

“Good point. Let’s get to dinner.”

…

Once he was sure they were far enough away, Sami turned to Manuel:

“Do you think he heard enough?”

Manuel grinned conspiratorially at him.

“Yeah, I could hear him just behind the door, and if we’d spoken any louder most of the hotel would have heard us.”

“But will it work?” Marcel frowned, “How do you think he’ll react?”

“We’ll have to wait and see.” Manual shrugged. “But Benni’s a romantic at heart. I think he won’t resist the thought of Mats secretly pining after him. Now we have to set the same trap for Mats. I think we might need to recruit Sandro to help…”  
…

Once the voices of his teammates had faded from the corridor, Benni was left with only the cacophony of his thoughts.

He stood paralysed for a moment, unable to take in what he had just heard. If it had just been Manuel then he might have thought it was some kind of weird prank, but Sami took his captain’s duties too seriously for jokes and, although he didn’t know him well, he doubted Marcel was the type to mess around either.

Benni shivered, and then realised he was still only in a towel. Feeling far too emotionally vulnerable to be semi-naked as well, he hurried to get dressed.

This was a disaster. It was unbelievable, but the more Benni thought about it, the more he wanted to believe. He had always thought Mats was aloof and arrogant, but maybe he had got him completely wrong. Maybe there was another reason completely for him keeping his distance. Benni had matched his sarcasm and disdain, had thrown it back at him magnified. It had brought out his very worst qualities, he knew that. But if Mats had been acting that way only to hide how he really felt…

The guilt seared through Benni’s soul. 

Poor Mats. He didn’t deserve any of it. 

Benni had no reason to dislike him. He got on fine with everyone else. Sure he was handsome and intelligent - almost annoyingly so - but he was also relatively new to the squad and he deserved Benni’s support like any other teammate. Being handsome and intelligent shouldn’t be enough for his irrational dislike of the man. 

He had been swept up in thought long enough to have lost track of time, and had to hurry not to miss dinner completely. Fortunately Mats was not in the dining room when Benni got there. Manuel had finished his meal but gave Benni a cheerful wave as he left, apparently completely unaware of the crisis he had unleashed upon his friend.

This time Benni was grateful to sit with Mesut and avoid conversation. Mes was too distracted by whatever Sami was saying to notice that Benni was acting strangely. 

How was he supposed to deal with this? He should try to be nicer at least. Now he knew why Mats acted the way he did, he shouldn’t add to his pain by being a dick. Benni was ashamed of his behaviour, more so because it was clear others had noticed it. He had heard Manuel’s damning assessment of his character, and it hurt all the more to admit he was right. He had to do better and he had to start at once. Their fighting was exhausting. 

However, as soon as he had returned to his room, he realised it was not going to be easy.

Mats was lying on his half of ‘their’ bed, thoroughly engrossed in a book. Benni had never seen him wearing glasses before. They suited him.

He didn’t react to Benni, quite content apparently to ignore his presence completely.

Keen to make amends for his previous behaviour, Benni was not willing to be ignored:

“Erm.. that was a great block against Sandro earlier.” The friendly tone sounded foreign to Benni’s ears. 

Mats said nothing. He blinked, frowned and continued reading without looking up.

Undeterred, Benni continued:

“I apologised to Marko for taking him out. That’s no way to treat the youngest member of the squad!” 

This drew a small snort as reaction but nothing else.

Benni took a deep breath. Resisting the urge to tell Mats where he could stick his book, he reminded himself why he was making the effort. 

Mats had every reason not to let down his guard easily. But nothing worth having was won easily.

“What are you reading?” sitting himself beside Mats on the bed, Benni tried his most winning smile, “Anything interesting?”

“What the fuck’s got into you all of a sudden? Are you high?” Mats snapped his book shut and shoved it onto the bedside table.

“I...I was just interested” Benni flinched. “Just trying to be friendly” 

“Why? You’ve never bothered before.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Mats swung his legs over the side of the bed to turn his back to his roommate. “I think I preferred the passive-aggressive silence. Let’s go back to that.”

Instinctively, Benni hugged his knees in towards himself, his eyes fixed on the curve of Mats’ back, physically so close but emotionally so distant. 

It was understandable, a completely understandable reaction, but the rejection of his offered hand of friendship still stung hard. They should have been friends. Now that he thought about it, they were so similar in many ways. 

He watched as Mats went through his evening routine, getting ready for bed. Every so often he would steal a glance over at Benni before quickly looking away again, slightly flustered. 

It dawned on Benni that his friends had been entirely correct. Clearly Mats had a crush, which would explain his distance, the surreptitious glances, and why he didn’t want to be friends. Friendship wouldn’t be enough, would be torture in fact! Close but never close enough.

Benni stared fixated as Mats combed his hair, fascinated by long fingers and dark curls - until Mats caught his gaze in the mirror, froze for a moment and then scowled. Feeling the heat rise in his cheeks Benni turned his face to the wall.

With a sudden shallow gasp of breath, he realised that Mats didn’t want to be just friends and maybe he didn’t want that either. 

Blindsided, he tried to calm the sudden thundering in his chest. He was tired and overthinking things. It had been a crazy couple of days. 

They barely knew each other really. None of these feelings could be real, for either of them. Everyone knows that the best way to get over a crush is to get to know the person better. He should continue with his plan to make Mats his friend and it should absolutely solve this little crush problem - maybe for both of them...


	5. Listen (to your heart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan - part 2

Mats had been hoping that his roommate's sudden strange behaviour would have worn off by the next morning, but he appeared to be out of luck.

Whereas previously Benni had been at pains not to acknowledge his existence, Mats now noticed that the other man seemed to be watching him closely. He also seemed to be attempting to keep up the ‘friendly’ act of the night before, asking him if he’d slept well and offering him first use of the bathroom. It was all deeply suspicious.

Convinced his rival defender must be plotting something and seeing Benni watching him in the mirror, Mats was careful to check his hair product for rogue substances. In the bathroom he even went as far as sniffing his shampoo to check for bleach. He’d look a right idiot with bleached blond hair and it wasn’t worth the risk. All seemed clear, but he was relieved to escape to breakfast before the paranoia completely got the better of him.

Not that things were much better at breakfast.

“What’s got into you?”

Marcel blinked at Mats:

“Nothing. What are you talking about?”

“You’re smirking like you know something. What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on” He rolled his eyes and took a bite of toast. “Stop acting like a weirdo” he mumbled through a mouthful of crumbs.

“I’m not the one acting like a weirdo! That would be Mr-holier-than-thou Höwedes!” Mats spat out Benni’s name as though it left a bad taste.

Marcel sighed:

“And what’s he done now?”

“He’s...he’s being weird.”

“You’re really gonna have to be more specific.”

“He’s...being...nice.”

Marcel looked as though he was trying not to laugh which annoyed Mats still more.

“Nice?”

“Yeah, nice. Like...trying to be friendly and stuff.”

“And that’s weird?”

“From him? Yes! Very Weird!”

Marcel looked at Mats as though he were a rather slow child:

“Maybe it’s because he’s a nice guy? You’re the only one who has a problem with him. Everyone else gets on fine with him. Maybe he’s as sick of you two fighting as the rest of us are!”

Mats narrowed his eyes:

“No way. He’s up to something. Maybe he’s trying to act ‘the nice guy’ so that he gets into the coach's good books and makes me look bad. I bet that’s it.”

“Oh. My. God. You’ve finally lost it. You have abandoned all sanity when it comes to that man.” Marcel gathered up his plate and got up from the table. “Just don’t go doing anything stupid or making wild assumptions when you don’t have the full story.”

And with that, Marcel left an indignant Mats to his outlandish conspiracy theories.

Fortunately, Mats was not left alone to stew for too long. 

“Hey Man, I was just coming to look for you.” Sandro appeared, grinning widely. 

“Yeah?”

If Mats' reply was more suspicious than usual, Sandro didn’t seem to pick up on it:

“I’m rounding up a couple of the guys to shoot some hoops later. Wondered if you wanted to join?”

In fairness, it sounded just what Mats needed. Just as long as…

“Who else is playing?”

“Erm, Jerome. And I think he’s asking Manuel. Why?”

“No reason. Sounds good.”

“Great. We’re meeting up at 11. See you then.”

And, stealing a small bunch of grapes from his friend’s plate, Sandro left again before Mats could properly object.

...

The June sunshine and the prospect of relaxing in the fresh air away from his stifling roommate had already much improved Mats’ mood by the time he wandered outside to meet up with his fellow basketballers.

It was a couple of minutes before 11, but there was no sign of the others. Mats surveyed the set up. It wasn’t a proper court, just a hoop attached to the wall in a little yard at one side of the hotel. He hung around awkwardly for a moment or two, wondering if he was in the right place. Admittedly, Sandro hadn’t actually specified where they would be meeting. He’d just assumed…

The sound of voices through the window of the nearby conservatory drew his attention. Moving closer instinctively, he caught enough of the conversation to peak his interest. The phrases ‘pathetic crush’ and ‘huge dilemma’ reached him and, as he was always keen to keep himself well informed of any interesting goings-on within the team (not gossip of course, he wasn’t a gossip), Mats decided that just beside the open window would be an excellent place to wait for his friends.

It soon became apparent that he had no need to wait, for the animated conversation he had happened upon was between the very group of players whose arrival he was anticipating.

“But I don’t understand it” Sandro was saying, “Why doesn’t he do something about it?”

“I reckon he’s confused” Manuel’s voice replied “and scared, to be honest. He’s much more insecure than you realise.”

“But I thought Benni had a girlfriend?” 

Jerome’s question brought Mats’ even closer, any pretense of casual interest abandoned. He had to hear more now.

“Ha!” Manuel gave a hollow laugh. “He does, but that hasn’t stopped him falling hard for Mats. Believe me, he’s got it bad!”

At this, Mats stumbled over the ornamental flowerpot at his feet, stubbing his toe and having to stifle a yelp of pain.

Toe throbbing and heart pounding, he ducked down in case the group inside had been alerted to his eavesdropping by the noise.

Fortunately, they seemed far too engrossed in their conversation to notice that they were being overheard.

Jerome was continuing:

“But what about Mats? Shouldn’t we tell him?”

“Hell no!” Sandro answered, “Mats is a top bloke, but above anything he’s ambitious. And, that’s great, obviously, but he’s going to see this as a weakness he can exploit.”

“Surely not!” 

“Really?”

Undeterred by the objections of the others, Sandro continued his character assassination:

“Benni might be sentimental enough to see past the rivalry, but not Mats. Even if he doesn’t actively use it against him, there’s no way he would ever feel the same way. He views this kind of stuff as a distraction. He’s scathing about guys who get emotionally involved with teammates. All he cares about is his career. It’s not like he’s heartless exactly, but he seems to have no time for attachment or love.”

“Poor Benni” sighed Manuel, “I hate to see him in pain, but he’s definitely lost his heart to the wrong guy.”

“Oh Shit!” Jerome exclaimed forcefully enough to make Mats jump again, “Look at the time! He’ll be waiting for us. We need to get going!”

Desperate not to be discovered listening, Mats moved as quickly and silently as he could away from the conservatory but not before catching Manuel’s last comment:

“Don’t say a word to him about this”

…

As they headed towards the door, Sandro had to bite his hand to keep from laughing:  
“He’s no James Bond, is he? If he’s gonna take to spying he might want to check he’s not perfectly reflected in the windows opposite!”

“Not like him not to notice his own reflection!” Jerome’s comment earned him a high five from Sandro.

“Let’s just hope he takes the bait” muttered Manuel as they rounded the corner into the courtyard.

...

Mats barely had a few seconds to digest what he had heard before he was joined by his friends. They all seemed completely unconcerned by the fact they had been bad-mouthing him just moments before. As they began their game, Mats was understandably somewhat distracted. 

He was taken aback that Sandro had apparently dismissed him as heartless, and utterly dumbfounded by the revelation that Benedikt Höwedes was in love with him.

However, the more he thought about it - missing easy baskets and spilling catches as he did so - the more it made total sense. It was obvious really, so obvious that he wondered how he could have missed it.

Benni was nice to everyone except him (excluding a bit of yelling at the opposition and the occasional referee perhaps, but even then not without cause) and Mats had never properly understood why this should be. Mats was used to being liked, and his pride had been hurt by Benni’s seemingly dismissive behaviour, so he had reacted badly and pushed back. But if all that ridiculous sparring had been some sort of attempt at flirtation on Benni’s part…

“Oi mate! What the… Earth to Mats!” Sandro was less than pleased by his partner’s performance.

“Yeah, get’cha head in the game Mats” grinned Manuel.

Jerome shook his head:

“Tell me you did not just make a ‘High School Musical’ reference!”

“So what if I did? It’s a modern classic. And you recognised it didn’t you?”

Jerome narrowed his eyes at him and looked as though he was about to say something but just threw the ball hard at his head instead. Manuel caught it without a blink, smirk intact.

As much as Mats tried to concentrate, his mind was too full of a certain blond defender…

Benni was cute, Mats could readily admit that. And he had seen how kind and supportive he could be with his other teammates - the ones he wasn’t secretly crushing on. 

No wonder Benni had freaked out so badly when they were forced to share a room, to share a bed! Poor guy. Mats had ascribed his reaction to diva-like behaviour, but if he had been in some kind of inner turmoil over his feelings, of course he would have struggled.

It would explain his change of behaviour last night too. The attempt to reach out, despite all the pain he must be going through, was actually really brave. It must have taken so much for him to put all his hurt aside, and what had Mats done? Thrown it back in his face. 

Regret descended like a cloud crossing the sun. Sure, he hadn’t done it deliberately, he hadn’t known, but he had acted badly from the start, and, unlike Benni, he had no excuse.

It was little surprise that Jerome and Manuel won the basketball game easily.

“There’s no need to look so pleased with yourselves!” Unsurprisingly for a professional sportsman, Sando hated losing under any circumstances. “It was basically two against one!”

“Something on your mind, Mats?” Jerome jabbed a stupefied Mats in the ribs. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Or boy if you prefer” added Manuel with a wink. “That’s fine too - or better perhaps…”

Normally Mats would have immediately come up with a witty retort to this, but instead found himself humiliatingly tongue-tied and rather pink in the face as the others disappeared inside for lunch. He really needed to get a grip and fast.

…

Mats found himself oddly nervous about having to interact with Benedikt. He hadn’t seen him at lunch and they had been in separate groups for the afternoon training sessions. Half the squad had been given fitness training, whilst Mats was with the group tasked with a bicycle ride through the neighbouring countryside. He was grateful that cycling made it easy to avoid conversation and the fresh air was soothing to his turbulent emotions. 

However, the evening, and the prospect of returning to their shared room, was a very different proposition. 

Having reached the conclusion that he should apologise and extend the hand of friendship, as Benni had done the night before, and unsure of the reaction he might get, Mats felt he should really wait until they were alone.

Benni had been drawn into a game of pool after dinner by Sami, giving Mats the chance to reach their room first and ponder what he was going to say.

It was rather unfortunate that he was halfway through preparing a speech of apology in the mirror when the bedroom door swung open and Benni strolled casually in, catching Mats completely off guard. He stood gaping at his roommate for a moment, the power of speech having temporarily deserted him.

Benni glanced over at him and then frowned:

“Are you ok? Is something wrong?”

“No, erm yes, I mean, no, I…”

Benni blinked at him:

“Are you sure?”

Mats shook his head to distracted himself from the concern in Benni’s soft brown eyes.

“Yeah, look, I… I think I should probably apologise.”

“Erm, okay.”

Benni sat down on the end of the bed looking up at him expectantly. Mats looked down at the immaculate beige carpet, shifted his weight from one foot to the other, coughed and tried to remember anything of what he wanted to say.

“I...I think we might possibly have kinda got off to a bad start when I got called up for the qualifiers, I’m not sure why, I’m not usually...it isn’t normally...what I’m trying to say is...I’m sorry for, for, well for all of it really.”

The words tumbled out in a rambling inarticulate mess until he was forced to draw breath.

There was a pause during which Mats managed to look up from the carpet to gauge Benni’s reaction.

The other man grimaced and shook his head:

“No, it was me. I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness here. You were new to the team and I should have made you feel welcome. Instead for some reason...well, that’s not important now.”

He stood up from the bed and held out his hand:

“Truce?”

Mats smiled and gratefully seized the offered hand.

“Definitely, absolutely, of course.”

Benni grinned back at him and Mats could feel himself babbling again. Thanks to their spat, Benni hadn’t often smiled directly at him and it was something he found he rather liked. Mats let go of his hand before it could become weird and immediately wondered if he had made it weird by letting go too soon. 

He was also not entirely sure what to do next. They were so used to ignoring or sniping at each other that once those options had been taken away it seemed impossible to interact as normal human beings. 

Desperate to avoid awkward silences, Mats launched into a commentary on the earlier basketball game, the account being semi-fabricated as he had been severely distracted during most of it. Fortunately Benni didn’t seem to mind, listening politely and laughing in the right places. He found himself conscious that if he said something stupid - too harsh or too sarcastic- he might shatter the fragile peace woven between them with gossamer threads. He was also unusually aware that he didn’t want to look like an idiot in the eyes of his fellow defender. This was odd because most of the time he didn’t care what others thought. Perhaps it was a lingering rivalry despite his best intentions.

As they prepared to turn in for the night, Mats began to be aware of how often his gaze was drawn to Benni, and of how often he found that Benni was looking back at him. The previous evening he had caught Benni staring at him on a number of occasions but he had assumed it was out of hostility or some nefarious purpose. How had he not seen their true meaning sooner? 

Even as he thought this, Benni looked up from where he had been rummaging through his suitcase, discovered Mats watching him, and hurriedly looked away with a sheepish half smile and a slightly heightened colour to his cheeks. These were textbook symptoms of a crush and it was crazy that Mats hadn’t realised earlier. He had never had a teammate fall for him before and he wasn’t sure he knew how to deal with it.

Mats pondered the situation while he was in the bathroom. Getting involved with a teammate had always struck him as a terrible idea, and he had been scathing about those who had. They were there to do a job, they were professionals. But there could be no harm in being friends. Benni’s crush would fade. He had a girlfriend and didn’t seem the type to mess around. It was a one-way thing and would definitely stay that way because he didn’t feel the same at all, obviously. It went without saying. But friends would be fine. 

By the time he left the bathroom, Benni was already in bed, his eyes closed. He looked younger, innocent, golden freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose. Mats stood in bathroom doorway for a moment, wondering how he could have thought badly of this man. His chest suddenly felt tight and he swiftly turned off the light. There was no stupid wall between them as he slid into the bed and he could feel the warmth radiating from the other man’s body. Mats turned his back on him and draw himself as close to the edge of the bed as possible, struggling to relax and let himself drift off. Whereas it had been anger and revulsion that had made him distance himself from Benni, now it was something else, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. The whole day had been confusing, it was little wonder that he did not find sleeping easy.

He listened to the rhythm of breathing behind him and wondered if Benni’s heart was racing too. Was he wondering what would happen if he just rolled over and closed the gap between them? Because that’s what Mats was wondering. And he was no longer certain how he would respond if Benni ever did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from this classic video of [Mats, Benni and Manu in the 2011 Nutella ads](https://youtu.be/EKY6RAF7FPg)


	6. Read all about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *The* interview (the inspiration) and some aftermath

“So… what do you say to that?”

Jerome blinked slowly at Manuel’s slyly grinning face, finished chewing his mouthful of bread, and sighed, before finally looking over in the direction his too-sprightly-for-this-time-of-the-morning-teammate had indicated along with his question. 

“What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“Benni and Mats of course! Look at them!”

Jerome shrugged:

“They’re eating breakfast.”

“Together! They’re eating breakfast *together*. They’re not sitting as far apart as they physically can. They’re not bickering or throwing sour looks at each other. They’re being friendly...ooh look! Look! There was a smile! They smiled at each other!”

“You need to get a life.” Jerome took a dismissive swig of his orange juice.

“Oh, come on!” Despite his companion’s attitude, Manuel was still smiling broadly, “I think I’m allowed to feel a little bit smug about this. My master plan is working like a dream!”

Jerome looked as though he was about to respond to this, but he was cut off by the arrival of Sami and Mesut.

“Have you seen? Have you seen?” Mesut’s excited stage whisper was no quieter than his normal speaking voice, but fortunately the rest of the squad were making enough noise that no one else noticed.

“‘Morning” Sami dropped into the seat opposite Jerome, “I can see that you are also keeping a close eye on our little ‘project’.”

“Naturally.” Manuel nodded, “And I think you’ll agree that it all seems to be progressing very nicely.”

Manuel glanced not-very-subtly over towards where the two former enemies appeared to be engaged in polite, if slightly awkward, conversation.

“I’m so pleased they’re making friends!” Mesut was beaming, “The fighting was so horrid.”

“The fighting was boring,” Jerome countered, “Hopefully we can all now move on.”

“Friends?” Manuel raised his eyebrows, “Just friends, d’you think?”

“Don’t go stirring anything.” Sami’s voice held a note of warning. “If this has fixed their squabbling then that’s fantastic, but we’ve done enough meddling. Leave it now.”

Manuel held up his hands, wide-eyed and innocent:

“Would I?” -and then, in answer to Sami’s glare - “OK! OK! I promise! I’ll leave them alone.”

“Good.”

With impeccable timing, it was at this moment that Benedikt chose to fetch a refill of coffee, passing their table on his way.

“Good morning Benni!” 

“Erm, mornin’?” Benni seemed a little taken aback at Manuel’s enthusiastic greeting. 

“It’s an excellent morning, in fact! Did you sleep well?”

“Er, yeah? Fine thanks.”

“Good, good! Pleased to hear it.”

Benni stared at Manuel’s grin for a moment and then narrowed his eyes:

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“Hmmm…”

“Sooo...Two coffees?” Manuel nodded to the cups Benni was holding.

“Yes…”

“Is one of them for Mats?”

Sami aimed a kick at Manuel’s shin under the table, but he refused to take the hint.

“What’s it to you?”

“And you’re not planning on spitting in it or anything?”

“Of course not!”

“Happy to hear it. I thought you’d never get your head out of your...”

“Shut it Neuer, or I’ll be spitting in *your* coffee!”

“Cut it out, you two!” Sami was using his captain voice again “We’ve got a camera crew joining us later and they’re going to be around for the whole tournament, so we all need to be on our best behaviour. All of us!”

Manuel rolled his eyes but stopped talking.

“For the whole tournament?” Mesut frowned “Isn’t that… I don’t know...testing our luck? Like...it might jinx it?”

Sami gaped for a second:

“I...I’m sure it won’t make a difference. It’s down to us. Not anyone or anything else, Mes.”

“Ugh. I hate media days!” Having filled the coffee cups, Benni rejoined their conversation.

“It’s just interviews and signing sessions today,” Sami explained “Photos and filming tomorrow. I know I have several interviews scheduled, and you have some Manu.”

“Oh joy.” Manuel’s face was anything but joyful. “Lucky me.”

“Ha! Sucks to be you” Benni smiled ever-so-sweetly at Manuel, who stuck his tongue out in return. 

Ignoring this, Benni crossed the room to deliver the much-needed coffee to his roommate, receiving a smile of thanks. He had just sat down when he was distracted by the arrival of their coach.

“Ah, there you are!” Hrubesch was not one for unnecessary pleasantries but got right to the point. “Glad I’ve got you both together. You’re doing an interview - both of you - a joint interview. For BILD. This afternoon. Keep it positive. They’re probably going to try to blow up the rivalry thing, but I need you to at least pretend to like each other, got it?”

“Not a problem”

“We do like each other”

Both answers came at once, over the top of each other, and almost too quickly to be convincing.

The coach studied both defenders closely before replying:

“Well good. Make sure that’s what comes across.”

He thumped an enormous hand on each of their backs:

“Carry on!”

Benni blinked at Mats and Mats stared back, both too dumbfounded to say anything.

...

The scheduled interview arrived far more quickly than either man would have liked.

“Why us? Like… why both of us...together?” Mats cringed, as they made their way reluctantly towards the arranged meeting point.

“I don’t know” Benni was apprehensive about the interview, but doing his best not to show it. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Mats raised his eyebrows:

“It’s BILD!”

Benni stifled a snort at this:

“Yeah, OK, point taken.”

Mats smiled sheepishly back at him.

“Maybe it will be more fun with the two of us. Moral support at least.”

“Exactly - we can present a united front against any journalist BS.”

Mats’ grin broadened and he held out his hand as they reached the door of the lounge:

“Deal! Now let’s get this over with.”

As they entered the hotel lounge and made their way across to the group of waiting journalists, a thick-set man with rather prominent eyebrows spotted them and stepped forward. Benni recognised him from many press junkets at Schalke.

“Kitsch” he nodded as he shook the outstretched hand.

“Höwedes! Good to see you. How are things?”

“Fine thanks.” The interview may not have officially started but Benni’s guard was already up.

“And Herr Hummels! Christian Kitch.” The journalist presented a toothy grin as he grasped Mats’ hand in turn. “I’m so pleased you agreed to this.”

Benni desperately wanted to comment that they didn’t have much choice in the matter, but thought it wise not to say it out loud. A sneaky glance at Mats found a hint of a smile which told him his roommate was likely thinking the same thing.

“I wanted to get a couple of you guys together to really kinda gauge the atmosphere in the camp, you know?” Kitsch kept talking as they made their way towards the small meeting room that had been put aside for the interview. “What your expectations are, how Germany’s new generation are getting on as a team, yeah? Take a look at how you young hot-heads are dealing with the pressure - that sort of thing.”

There seemed to be something in the phrase ‘hot-heads’ that set alarm bells ringing within Benni, a hard edge behind the supposedly friendly manner that made him suspect that here was a journalist with the whiff of scandal in his nostrils. If rumours of the feud between him and Mats had somehow reached the eager ears of the press, it was little wonder the pair had been specifically called upon. A rift in the squad, ‘defenders at each other’s throats’ would make a great story. 

Of course, if the real reason for their 'misunderstanding’ was discovered it would be worse still. Benni looked over at Mats as they sat down across from Kitsch. As much as he disliked the bland platitudes so often required of these interviews, Benni resolved to be as neutral as possible in order to deflect anything that might reflect badly on either of them. Something inside him made him defensive of his younger teammate and said-teammate’s unfortunate crush. It was probably his fault, rather than Mats’, that this guy thought he could get a ‘scoop’. Benni would be damned if he made it easy for him.

Kitsch fiddled with his recorder before shooting them another ‘matey’ smile and beginning his questioning:

“Sooo, thanks again for doing this, guys. Right, first things first, how are the preparations going?”

A nice neutral question to start. Mats smiled serenely as he answered:

“Great. The atmosphere is really good. Naturally it’s important that we get that right.”

Benni nodded. Calm and businesslike, he added:

“We’re working hard in training. We’re determined to win the title.”

Kitsch raised an inquisitive eyebrow and then frowned a little:

“You’ve been drawn in the tougher group with Spain, Finland and England. Do you think talking of the title is realistic?”

Benni was slightly taken aback by this and gaped for a second. If they didn’t believe they could win in, why the hell would they bother turning up in the first place? Of all the stupid…

Under the table, Mats extended a calming hand onto Benni’s subconsciously clenched fist as he answered on his behalf:

“Of course a good start to the championship will be important. We need two wins at the group stage to be guaranteed the semi-final. Of course, Spain and England are title favourites too. But if we stick together... (a tiny glance at Benni) ....play for each other, then we can do it.”

Previously, he had resented Mats’ abilities to smooth-talk his way around people, but this time Benni was immensely grateful for his apparently effortless charm.

Their interviewer, however, seemed far less impressed, and decided that he needed to stir things a little harder:

“Ah yes, sticking together is very important,” a sly smirk played across his lips, “but cohesion between a Schalker and a Dortmander? Now then, how does that work?”

Benni had seen that one coming and took a deep breath:

“Well, just to be clear,” he said with a fixed smile “ the fact is, Mats and I met when he was still playing for Bayern…”

Mats grinned:

“Yes, you guys conveniently forget that when you bring up the rivalry!”

“We played against each other in the Youth Final in 2006. Schalke came out on top that day!”

Mats threw Benni an odd look, as though caught off guard for a moment, before he found his response:

“But the only important thing is that BVB had about 100 more points than Schalke last season!”

This felt more like the old back-and-forth of banter between them, only this time the spark in Mats’ eyes was clearly affection, rather than the bitterness Benni had always assumed was there before.  
He laughed as he rose to the bait: 

“Oh, but that had nothing to do with you! Enjoy the feeling of being ahead of us because it won’t happen again!”

“Ha! Only you believe that!” 

A cough from Kitsch reminded them where they were and what they were supposed to be doing. 

Mats returned to ‘serious interview mode’:

“But this time Horst made sure that it will work when Dortmund and Schalke are called up together…

The reporter’s face lit up at this:

“Oh? How has he managed that?”

Benni took a deep breath. If the guy wanted a story, they should give him a story. And it was the coach’s doing after all. They’d be instructed to ‘pretend to like each other’...  
Benni gave a mischievous smirk:

“He’s got us sharing a double room” Kitsch’s eyebrows shot up, much to Benni’s amusement as he continued, “But don’t worry, I’m planning on drawing a royal blue line across it!”

“Erm, I think you’ll find that’s a yellow line!” Mats was grinning too and clearly sensing a chance to troll this reporter with a very different story from the one he had been digging for. “Unfortunately there is only one sink in the bathroom. I might have to apply for a new one so I don’t have to share with you anymore!”

“Share with me!” Benni feigned offence and made as if to dig Mats in the ribs “As if you’re not the one hogging the mirror!”

Clearly thrown from his stride by the mock flirting going on, and apparently not knowing quite what to make of it, Kitsch had to get their attention back to the interview at hand:

“ So ...It sounds like a ...big friendship?”

“Oh, It could be worse.” Mats’ smile was sickly sweet, “At least Benedikt does not snore!”

Benni shook his head at him and wanted to scowl but found he couldn’t manage it.

Kitsch, on the other hand, was struggling not to scowl. Having not received the answers he wanted, the interviewer tried another line of questioning in an attempt to stir up any potential rivalries or resentments:

“Of course, without Höwedes’ last minute goal in the qualifier against France, you would not be here. Are you grateful to him Herr Hummels?”

As intended, the jocular atmosphere disappeared. Benni watched Mats from out of the corner of his eye, remembering the last time that goal had been mentioned between them.

Mats laughed but shifted in his seat:

“Being thankful to a Schalker is difficult” His serious interview face returned. “Of course it’s great that his shot brought us to the European championship…”

“I don’t want thanks for it.” Benni cut across him and Mats turned to meet his earnest look. “It doesn’t matter who scored or who was in that team. So Mats doesn’t have to by me buy me dinner or clean my boots or anything…”

There was a flicker of recognition in Mats’ face. The apology and forgiveness were unspoken, but keenly-felt nonetheless.

“And finally,” Kitsch seemed impatient to wrap up, “Can you imagine forming the centre-back duo together - in the Bundesliga even?

The two defenders looked at each other, unsure how to answer, and then glanced away.

Erm...In principle, yes?” offered Mats, uncertain. “But if so, then I can’t see it at Dortmund nor at Schalke…”

Benni nodded and then shook his head, not sure which was the appropriate response.

Kitsch stabbed ‘stop’ on the recorder and then gave a stiff smile as he shook their hands again:

“Thanks for that. I’m going to be covering the whole tournament so you’ll probably be seeing me again over the coming weeks. I look forward to seeing how you guys get on. Good luck!”

“Thank you.”

“Cheers.”

The fake smiles lasted until the reporter was safely out of sight before both let loose a large sigh of relief:

“Phew! Thank God that’s over!”

“I wonder how they’ll spin it,” Benni mused as he closed his eyes and leant against the wall of the corridor, finally allowing himself to relax. “You never know which answers they’ll focus on.”

“I guess we’ll find out tomorrow” Mats rested his head next to Benni’s and then gently bumped his shoulder as he added: “But I think we did alright.”

Benni opened one eye to look at Mats and allowed himself a half-smile:

“Yeah. Turns out we make a pretty good team.”

Mats smiled back, but then looked away, and there was a pause before he spoke again:

“I didn’t think you’d remembered the final.”

Benni looked blankly back in reply so Mats clarified:

“The Youth Final?” 

“Of course I remember. It’s always fun beating Bayern!” 

Benni was still smiling but Mats frowned slightly:

“I mean...you remembered me?” 

Benni hesitated. Mats was staring at the floor. He suddenly seemed a long way from the calm, smooth professional that had answered so effortlessly in the interview.

“Yes” Benni’s voice came out more softly that he expected and Mats looked up at him with wide eyes. 

There was another silence while Mats seemed to process his answer. He looked down at the swirling corridor carpet again:

“Important to know your enemy, right?” 

There was a hesitation in the question that Benni couldn’t quite read.

He had remembered Mats from that day. He had been aware of him even before that, but he had been struck by seeing him in person. They hadn’t said much to each other, but he had stuck in Benni’s mind. It had never occurred to him that he might have left an impression on Mats, but then, until recently, it had never occurred to him that Mats thought about him very much at all.

“That’s not… that’s not exactly…” Benni’s words deserted him again. “You’re not my enemy.”

Mats looked up at him again, his eyes bright:

“I’m not?”

“No”

“So we’re friends now?”

Benni smiled and shrugged:

“I guess so. I mean, it’s going to say so in print so it must be true”

Mats raised an eyebrow:

“It’s in BILD. I wouldn’t believe a word!”

“Ha! Good point!” 

In a second, Mats teasing expression vanished:

“So we’re not friends then?”

Benni swallowed. The air between them suddenly seemed to thicken. His gaze darted upwards to meet Mats’ eyes just above his own -dark and intense- and his mind seems to blank:

“If not friends...” he murmured, “then what?”

A sound from further down the corridor caused him to start and step back, as though from the edge of a precipice.

The strange atmosphere broken, Mats blinked and shook his head.

“I...I’m...we should…”

“Yeah...I mean… I gotta…”

Neither finished their sentences, and the two men turned to exit in opposite directions.

…

Benni spent the evening trying to avoid Mats in as subtle a way as possible. Fortunately, Mats did not seem keen to seek his company either, something Benni was both relieved and hurt by. 

Being friends with Mats Hummels was proving to be harder than he had ever anticipated, not because he didn’t like him, but because he liked him far too easily and far more intensely than he was used to. Having previously fought so hard against Mats’ charms, and having refused to see what others could like about him, the sudden discovery of all his attractive qualities was difficult to process. 

The confusion was made worse by the strange atmosphere during the interview earlier. Perhaps it was some strange connection due to their being ‘under siege’ from a prying journalist, maybe it had been for show, not meant seriously, but it had felt more, well... flirtatious than the usual bantering interaction he had with his teammates. Fraternal affection he was used to, but this just seemed different somehow, and he couldn’t decide how he should, and did, feel about it.

It could be that he merely enjoyed Mats’ attentions because his was flattered by them. It was nice to be wanted. He liked being liked.  
But he should be careful. It would be cruel to lead Mats on. Being unpleasant and rude to him had been bad, but knowingly playing with his affections would be so much worse.

And it might not be just Mats’ feelings at stake. 

 

During dinner, while Manuel talked on and on about something Benni paid zero attention to, he examined his own reactions to that little ‘moment’ earlier. 

He had been so aware of Mats - his voice, his eyes, the small but significant height difference that meant he had to look upward to stare into his face. There had been a spark of interest, something new and scary. 

But obviously he could not reciprocate Mats’ feelings. He had a girlfriend. He loved Lisa. It could be that he was missing her, and in all the emotional upheaval of the past few days he had momentarily lost his head. 

Benni excused himself from the table halfway through Manuel’s latest lengthy anecdote, having heard not a single word, and went to call her.

 

Hearing his girlfriend’s voice did him a power of good, as it always did. What they had was real and solid and meant everything to him. Whatever he had felt between him and Mats in that corridor could not even begin to compare. It had been a transient, split-second thing which would not happen again. He would be careful not to let it happen again. 

He could gain a valuable and genuine friend in Mats, as long as he didn’t mess things up by letting it get weird. There was no need for it to be weird. He just had to play it cool and not let moments like that...that...madness happen again.

Mats probably felt the same way. Any crush he might have had would fade quickly enough. It was likely he wanted to forget any weird or awkward moments too.

 

Despite having thoroughly rationalised all this in his head, Benni still found himself too much of a coward to face Mats, and he left it until very late before returning to their room. As he had hoped, Mats was already asleep.

Benni lay awake, turning the same thoughts and feelings over and over in his mind. Eventually, the comforting realisation that sent him to sleep was that the day after tomorrow they would be heading to Sweden and this forced intimacy would be over. There would be appropriate distance again, and clear heads. He could last until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The interview that forms the basis of the chapter (and also kind of the spark for the whole fic):  
> [Genuine Bild article](https://www.bild.de/sport/fussball/feinde-in-der-liga-bett-freunde-bei-der-u-21-8600060.bild.html)  
> [or here via tumblr](https://hoemmelsxx.tumblr.com/post/164388419835/delesdier)  
> (Not quite used word-for-word but almost)  
>  [Youth Final](https://www.worldfootball.net/report/a-junioren-meisterschaft-2005-2006-finale-fc-schalke-04-bayern-muenchen/)


	7. Helden Gesucht

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The article is published, Benni avoids Mats, the boys make a record

No sooner had Benni and Mats arrived at breakfast than they were greeted by a wickedly grinning Manuel:

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the ‘Bed-friends’ themselves! Did you both sleep well?”

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Benni scowled at him:

“What are you on about now, Neuer?”

He sat down in the empty seat next to the goalkeeper, possibly in an attempt to get him to lower his voice - several of the team were already looking in their direction with more interest than was comfortable - while Mats found a place at the adjacent table.

By way of answer, Manuel brandished a newspaper and presented it to Benni:

“You two certainly gave them an interesting angle!”

Mats watched the colour drain from Benni’s face as he scanned the article in front of him. He swallowed and then passed the paper over to Mats without making eye contact. Mats could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he took in the words on the page. The interview had been a bit of a blur but he had never expected them to seize on the bed-sharing aspect so much as to make it the headline!

“Aww, but it’s cute!” Manuel continued without mercy, “I’m sure the coach will be thrilled that you’re besties now. Just don’t go running off into the sunset together too soon. We need you for a few more Revierderbies first!”

Benni pouted and helped himself to coffee:

“Why the hell do you have a copy of BILD anyway?”

“Erm, because I knew you’d be in it?” Manuel reached for another slice of bread, “Plus you’ll never know when it might come in useful…”

“What for?” Benni snorted, “Blackmail?”

“Useful for emergency toilet paper more like!” muttered Jerome.

Manuel feigned innocence:

“Would I ever be so manipulative? You wound me, Benni. I’m hurt!”

“You’re an ass!”

“What’s this?” Marcel lowered himself into the chair beside Mats, taking the newspaper as he did so and before Mats could think to prevent him. 

Marcel’s eyebrows flew up as he saw the headline:

“Oh!” and his lips formed a tiny smirk as he skimmed the rest of the article.

“Yeah, yeah” Mats snatched the paper back, “Don’t start.”

“Start what?”

“Anything.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Good!”

Mats kept his head down and concentrated on his breakfast, attempting to ignore the ribbing Benni was getting from his friends. He was grateful that Marcel did not seem to share their delight for making mischief. That interview, or more accurately the atmosphere immediately afterwards, had unsettled him. He needed some space to clear his head. Benni had disappeared after...whatever that was in the corridor, which hadn’t really helped. Clearly Benni had been spooked too so it couldn’t have been all his imagination.

Fortunately, the appearance of the assistance coach saved Mats from too much thinking:

“Listen up!” Nörenburg called the breakfast room to attention. “In case any of you think the presence of the cameras at training this morning is an excuse not to give your complete concentration, it has been decided to add a competitive element to today’s drills. You will be split into teams and the losers will be singing at the recording session this afternoon!”

There was a chorus of groans and mutterings.

“So unless any of you are harbouring ambitions for a pop career, I would suggest giving 100%!”

Marcel grimaced:  
“I don’t like the thought of that.” he muttered. “I wouldn’t want to inflict my singing on my worst enemy!”

“Ugh, me neither!” Mats gulped down his coffee staring straight ahead, wincing slightly as it scalded his throat. “I might take off, actually. Get started early. Competitive edge, yeah?”

He got up from the table before allowing Marcel to reply, and left without looking backwards.

If Marcel noticed that Mats had taken the newspaper with him, he didn’t mention it.  
...  
It wasn’t solely the threat of having to display his vocal talents to the world that caused Mats to make extra efforts to focus in training. They were only a few days from the opening match of the tournament and Mats was very aware that he was running out of chances to make his case for inclusion in the team.

To his surprise and gratification, he found that his game was improved by no longer harbouring a deep-seated animosity for one of his teammates. Whereas he had previously avoided Benni (only semi-subconsciously), he now found that they worked together much more effectively. 

After a particularly successful combined effort, there was a high five and shared smile that potentially lasted a fraction longer than felt normal. Mats wasn’t sure who looked away first, but it rattled him. It was probably nothing, certainly none of their teammates paid them any notice, but it set Mats’ mind racing again.

He had let his guard down the day before. He couldn’t explain it but he knew it couldn’t happen again. Since discovering Benni’s crush, he had grown to find he genuinely cared about his rival, his fellow defender. He wanted to be considerate to Benni’s feelings, but to be drawn into getting ‘involved’ in any way would be absolutely fatal. He had overheard Sandro call him heartless, but it wasn’t purely a selfish regard for his own career that caused Mats to be so cautious. This could only turn out badly for them both. For one thing, Benni had a girlfriend.

Sure he enjoyed Benni’s company, his humour, his smile, and he did not want to push him away again, but he absolutely could not let himself be distracted. Neither of them could afford that right now, nor could the team. They were needed to do a job and that’s where they should be concentrating all their energies. He needed to concentrate.

In fact, Mats’ increased attention of Benedikt, his position and movement, meant that training was particularly successful. Certainly they played better when not trying to outdo or outshine each other, wanting to impress but not at the other’s expense. Genuine cooperation actually brought out the best in each other, much to the clear satisfaction of their coach. 

Sadly, the arrival of the forewarned camera crew upset this happy balance. If his own perception of his relationship with Benni had been radically altered in the past few day, Mats now had the additional consciousness of how that relationship might be perceived by those around them. That stupid article had made him very aware that they had to be careful. It must be tough enough for Benni to be wrestling with his feelings without the prospect of some scoop-hungry journalist making life a misery.

Even without meaning to, Mats had on several occasions caught himself looking at Benni for what he suspected was too long, but the more conscious he was of it, the more any glance at all seemed too much. 

Training ended with the official team photographs. They were herded together into a group with Mats and Benni ending up beside each other on the second row. If Benni’s arm accidentally brushed against Mats’ then he absolutely didn’t notice it, just as he didn’t notice that he only started breathing normally again once the photographer rearranged them and Benni moved to the front row.

Individual portraits followed, before they were joined by the man who would (hopefully) be doing the majority of the singing that afternoon. Mats vaguely recognised Thomas Godoj from ‘Superstar’ and it felt like an odd juxtaposition as he posed with them for a group shot that they were told was intended for the single’s covershot. 

“I thought football songs went out of fashion in the 80’s” Marcel muttered as the team bus hurtled them towards Hamburg, “about the same time as perms and dodgy moustaches.”

Mats hummed in agreement but was not in a particularly chatty mood. He hadn’t expected Benni to sit with him, but he had expected a bit more acknowledgement. Benni had barely spoken to him since breakfast and Mats wondered if the article had gotten to him too. Their previous bickering had been annoying, but Mats found didn’t much like being ignored either.

A peel of laughter from the Schalke contingent made Mats shift in his seat. He felt Marcel watching his reaction with interest:

“What?”

“What?” Marcel blinked. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Hmm”

“Hmm what?”

“Nothing.”

Marcel rolled his eyes at this reply and nudged him in the ribs:

“Good! Then you can perk up a bit. We’re going to be pop stars for the day!”

Mat grinned reluctantly at his friends enthusiasm:

“I thought you said you couldn’t sing?”

“I can’t! And yet we’re still getting to see inside a recording studio. That’s pretty cool, right?”

“I guess so” Mats smiled again.

They were met at the studio by various members of the DFB staff and, for some strange reason, some additional players. Mats recognised Ralf Fährmann from Schalke, and knew his was in contention for a spot in the squad, but unless there had been an injury to one of their goalkeepers that he was unaware of, or the guy had an exceptional singing voice, he was unable to explain his appearance. Whatever the reason, he was one more addition to the little gang around Benni and this added to Mats annoyance. 

As they made their way into the studio and listened to the instructions of the engineers, Benni seemed far too caught up by the attentions of his other friends to acknowledge or even look at Mats. He was certainly doing an excellent job of hiding any crush he might have been harbouring.

There was a general air of giddiness in the studio, mingled with a good deal of embarrassment. The threat that the losers from the morning’s training would be the ones to sing had been thrown out. It had been decided (by whom? It certainly wasn’t Mats!) that they would all sing as a team, symbolic of their togetherness as a unit. A unit with very little musical talent unfortunately, but, to give credit, even Hrubesch joined in as they clustered around the microphone, peering at the lyric sheets that had been distributed.

Benni was near the front of the group, with Manuel, Ralf and a few others. Mats hid at the back, on the opposite side from them, sharing lyrics with an equally reluctant Sandro. He could not help his eyes wandering across to where Benni was laughing with his friends, seemingly carefree, at one point casually flinging his arm across Tobi Sippel’s shoulders. 

It was not long ago that the last thing Mats would have wanted was Benni’s attention, and yet now he was missing his company. He had been enjoying the buzz of blossoming friendship - the desire to hear all of someone’s stories and share you own - and resented the thought of having that taken away. Part of him wished he had the guts to march across the room, take that arm from Tobi and put it around his own shoulders, to have Benni smile and laugh with him instead of them...

Sandro elbowed him in the ribs:

“Oi! Wake up” he hissed, “I know this is painful, but if I have to go through it, so do you, and I need to see the words to have any chance of looking a little less like a prize idiot!”

“There is zero chance of that, trust me!” Mats mumbled, but he held the lyric sheet up again, grateful to have somewhere else to look and something else on which to focus. 

Any initial reluctance to sing was soon thrown off, and the levels of enthusiasm grew, if not the tunefulness. By the end, the team were jumping around (slightly out of time), and managed to make it through without the professional musicians and technicians throwing any kind of diva-like tantrums over their total lack of musical ability.

...  
Mats left dinner early with the excuse that, as they were leaving early the next morning, he needed to make a start packing his things. This was a lie. Sharing space with his one-time nemesis and having initially kept rigidly to ‘his’ side of the room had meant that he’d hardly unpacked in the first place. 

The real reason was that after a day of enforced team-bonding, Mats needed some time alone. 

Benni had managed not to speak a single word to him since breakfast. Mats could understand that the enforced proximity with his crush must have been awkward for the guy, but this was surely overcompensating. They had been moving towards being friends. Why undo all that hard work? 

Having worked himself into a thoroughly bad mood, Mats had just managed to trip over his suitcase and was swearing liberally when Benni walked into the bedroom:

“Um...hi. Are you ok?”

Mats hopped on one foot, grimacing:

“Just...peachy...thanks!”

Benni bit his lip, clearly trying not to laugh:

“Well, if you’re sure…”

Mats flopped onto the bed with a groan, burying his head in the pillows. Why was staying mad with Benedikt Höwedes so difficult all of a sudden?

He raised his head after a couple of seconds to find Benni studying him with interest, his head slightly cocked to one side and a rather indulgent smile on his face, like someone watching a petulant child.

Living up to that role, Mats decided to ignore him and picked up his book from the bedside table. He pretended to read it as Benni’s smile faded and he moved to start collecting up his belongings. 

Mats could only endure a few minutes of silence before he cracked completely:

“So....our last night together?”

If he hadn’t been cringing before, he certainly was now at how weird that sounded! Fortunately, Benni just smiled:

“Yep. And we both just about survived!”

“Who’d have thought it?” relaxing, Mats smiled back.

“Well not me, for one!” Benni put the folded training top he was holding into his case before sitting beside Mats on the bed. “I wasn’t sure we’d last one night without killing each other!”

“Hmm I was a close call, I’ll admit, but perhaps Hubresch is a genius after all.”

“Perhaps!” Benni looked thoughtful, and then added, “I’m glad though, I mean, that we’re friends now.” 

He seemed to stress the word ‘friends’ rather harder than was natural, immediately sending Mats’ thoughts back to the ‘not friends’ conversation in the hallway. Ignoring this, he nodded vigorously:  
“Yeah, me too”

He reached out at the same moment as Benni moved towards him and their arms tangled in an awkward half-handshake-half-hug, all gangly limbs and at the same time too close and too distant, too brief and too lingering. 

It was laughed off, as that was the only thing to do, but for the remains of the evening both men seemed rather quiet and pensive.

Once or twice Mats wondered if he should tell Benni he knew about his crush and that he was okay with it. Perhaps that would help them become proper friends and stop Benni distancing himself again? But then again that could make it even more awkward and ruin things completely.

And was he okay with it? He had assumed he was. He had no problem in theory with the situation. Why should it be a problem?

It was all too much, too confusing, too distracting. They had a tournament to win. In the morning they would be heading for Sweden, they would no longer be sharing a room (and a bed), and they could put all of this behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Video of the training session, photos, and the trip to the recording studio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5CS5O3Xbdo&list=LLKhKZFxH34O9tBWyBxmJ4Hg&index=3&t=0s) \- clearly (very young) Ralf was there, and yet he wasn’t in the U21 squad - so why was he there?? I have no idea but it gives me an excuse to put him in the story (albeit briefly) so I'll take it


End file.
